There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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