She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
