last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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