I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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