I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
