So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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