If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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