I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
id be glad to
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
