What a fucking waste of an outfit
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
