During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
