Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize