So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
