Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
