well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
