The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
