hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
