This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
