Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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