He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
