omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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