i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
