Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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