Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
