I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
