hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
