She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
