That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
