Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize