Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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