Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
