Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
