I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
