You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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