He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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