what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
