I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
