I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize