Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
