i barfeds in our rink
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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