hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
