He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
