Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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