You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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