so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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