I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
