Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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