girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
