I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
