We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
