o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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