Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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