spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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