I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
