Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
