You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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