i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
