you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
